Apologies for the late reply, I was too busy having a bit of respect

It’s been just over six months since I launched Surely Not. I initially did so after encouragement from friends who (for some odd reason) got a kick out of my fairly regular Facebook rants. The last thing I expected was for randoms to start reading and sharing my thoughts, but 6 months and over 40 articles/rants later – here we are. I can honestly say this piece is the hardest one I’ve had to write. Simply because I did not want to write it. The devastating passing of Stuart Kelly a fortnight ago is a tragedy beyond scale, there’s no two ways about it. In my opinion, I felt this tragedy was not a topic for discussion in the media or fodder for journalists. In this time, and for some time moving forward, the family needs privacy and space to grieve. It was out of respect for the family I refused numerous media requests for comment. Not to mention the fact that my comments – or anyone else’s – are meaningless and irrelevant in the wake of such a horrific event. Continue reading

Beware of Wowsers bearing gifts

The Trojan War is perhaps the most famous example of a majority suffering due to the actions of individuals. It’s said the catalyst for the ten year war and subsequent siege of Troy was Helen of Troy (previously known as Helen of Sparta) deciding to leave her husband, King Menelaus, for Paris, the slimy and sleazy king of Troy. This love triangle would end up costing countless lives and the actions of three would ultimately bring about the destruction of an entire city. Although in fairness to Helen, she was apparently under the influence the whole time thanks to the Goddess of Love, Aphrodite, who was punishing Menelaus for not delivering the tribute he promised for hooking him up with his wife in the first place. Continue reading

GOVERNMENT FUNDED TEMPERANCE UNIT THREATENS TO SUE SMALL-TIME BLOGGER OVER PROBE INTO $115mil TAXPAYER GRANT

Over the past few years the people of New South Wales have watched helplessly as their rights were revoked, their livelihoods ruined and the culture of their community destroyed – all for the benefit of developers, casinos and politicians. Since the start of the year, Surely Not – an independent page run by one guy with a passion for investigative journalism – has been trying to do something about it.

Speaking out against the powers that be has ruffled more than a few feathers in the last 6 months. In response to various investigations and articles, I’ve found myself the subject of smear campaigns, online abuse and even threats of violence – all part of the territory.

I’ve now also received multiple threats of legal action from the government funded anti-alcohol lobbyists, the Foundation for Alcohol Research and Education (FARE). I’ve received threats on behalf of the organisation, their CEO Michael Thorn and CFO Sharrin Wells. Continue reading

The Final Countdown – The UK EU Referendum

With great interest and bemusement I’ve been keeping an eye on the debate currently raging in the United Kingdom. Should they stay part of the EU? Or should they bail and go it alone. The outcome doesn’t really impact me personally, so I don’t have a strong view either way (Wowsers, nanny-statists and busybodies – take a lesson from that). But it has been fascinating to watch the propaganda, the social media debates and the general contempt each side as for the other. As we enter the final countdown on the eve of the vote, a look at some of the campaigning that turned a complex issue that will impact generations into a petty, political squabble. Continue reading

Heads I win, Tails you lose

The delusion of our elected officials and their buddies knows no limit it seems, and is surpassed only by their gall. Over the last few years our rights have been subjected to a steady procession of kicks to the teeth and cheap shots. Individual freedom copped another coward punch yesterday, dished out by the lump of coal that keeps on taking – Barry O’Farrell. Late last year the Grange enthusiast was inexplicably tasked with conducting a review into “illegal off shore gambling” and was compensated to the tune of fifty thousand dollars. Why on Earth this man continues to dine out on the public dollar is beyond all logic and reason. Either a lot of people have extremely short memories, or O’Farrell has quite the collection of compromising nudes. Whatever the reason, the fact that this man has any involvement with, well anything, is astounding and this latest attack on punters is the start of a very slippery slope. If you think this does not impact you, think again. Continue reading

Mr Bland goes to Canberra

SURELY NOT NEWS* EXCLUSIVE: One political commentator describes their ideology as “a mix between the devout religious right and the hysterical PC loony left with ideas far beyond anything the Greens could dream up whilst ingesting powerful hallucinogens.” Another says “Imagine Mike Baird, Julia Gillard, Karl Marx, Fred Nile, Helen Lovejoy and Joffrey Baratheon had an orgy and somehow produced a love child”. One pundit even offered a bold prediction that their impact would be “somewhere between Mal Meninga and Jaymes Diaz“. Most simply call this group of time wasters and busy bodies a bad joke. Continue reading

Won’t somebody please think of the children??!?!

 

The oft-repeated cry of a hysterical Helen Lovejoy came into the public consciousness way back when the Simpsons was still great in 1996. As a satirical phrase meant to lampoon certain groups’ tendency to offer irrelevant, but essentially inarguable moral positioning, the fact that it remains oh-so-relevant in modern day Australia is a cause for quite some concern. Variously known as won’t-somebody-think-of-the-children syndrome, Helen Lovejoy’s Law or just plain old run of the mill emotional blackmail, the argument need not even invoke children to be a celebrated conversation stopper.   Continue reading

Friends in Need

BREAKING: Pro-lockout elements of the Sydney mainstream media inadvertently throw their support behind businesses whose demise they have been tirelessly campaigning for! – surelynotnews 18/4/16  contact us to get some positive exposure for your business for FREE. No catches, no clauses, no bullshit – just a shout out for a friend in need.

Last weekend a Sydney Morning Herald State Politics Editor decided to publish an article about Surely Not. Or more specifically, she published a malicious and potentially ____ article about yours truly. You can read all about it here. I’ve always tried to make the best of a bad situation, and while this situation is now in more professional hands than mine, I did manage to work out a way to generate some good out of this. And while I’ve already given Ms Needham and her bizarre article more thought than it deserves, she did inadvertently contribute to a fantastic idea so what the hell, a little bit more for old times sake won’t hurt. Continue reading

Fact Check

Sydney Morning Herald State Political Editor Kirsty Needham gave me a call on Friday to discuss an upcoming article on yours truly. I’m across Ms Needham’s previous work, having enjoyed a lot of it but also noticing much of it was highly agenda driven, including one recent piece with the potential to mislead readers that I had no choice but to call out. Even with that experience at the back of my mind, given her position of State Politics Editor I was happy to have an adult conversation with her, in the hope that she would publish a piece befitting of her title. Continue reading

Barking up the wrong tree

Don’t you just love social media. We’re all absolutely sick to death of hearing about Mitchell Pearce and his latest bender so don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you to death by adding my $0.02 to that mountain of copper coins. But something extremely unsavoury has come from this little incident, far more disgusting and damaging than any of Pearces drunken antics. Continue reading

A ‘Straya Day Miracle

Too often in this day and age the only news we hear about is full of doom and gloom. Every day when you check the news the headlines are dominated by death, violence, terrorism, politics, faux outrage and controversy. In a time where people are utterly consumed with themselves and only ever want to appear courageous in the face of a non existent threat, we seldom see true acts of heroism and bravery. After all, it’s far easier to change your facebook profile picture to show your support, than to actually tackle an issue with your own two hands. Enter James Ross-Munro & Kane Wiblen. Watchful protectors. Not so silent guardians.
Continue reading

Saving the world, one click at a time

Every time we’re online these days it seems we’re confronted with social medias very own version of the scourge of society, charity muggers. Except rather than being stopped on the street by a cheerful Irish lad wanting to have a bit of #banter, a flirty European gal sexually harassing you, it’s one of your online pals demanding you sign some pointless petition demanding action on <insert trendy issue of the week here>  Continue reading

Farewell Class of ’15, thanks for the lols

As a species we are constantly evolving, innovating and progressing. Advances in technology and science are testament to that. Every year common items like the humble telephone are becoming ridiculously advanced devices. However as individuals a large number of us seem to be are going backwards at an alarming rate. Continue reading

Don’t blush, baby

Monday 4th January 2016. Mark that down as the date theabsurdity finally won their war against an enemy that never even existed.Those who lead lives so miserable and meaningless they need to hijack every single flavour of the week cause and steal some of the spotlight have got what they have been campaigning for over the last couple of years. The same people who see tragedy as an opportunity to score points will now get to fulfil their dream of living in a cold, sterile anti utopia where everybody is as miserable as they are. Continue reading

Archive

Every article and post ever published on Surely Not. Posts here are are in chronological order. Feel free to browse and scroll. Head over to articles if you’re specifically looking for something

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